


Priority

by clandestineyejin



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Accidents, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kozume Kenma in Love, Kozume Kenma is a Good Friend, Kuroo Tetsurou Being an Asshole, Kuroo Tetsurou is Bad at Feelings, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Little Shit, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Mess, Medication, Original Character(s), Overdosing, POV Female Character, Pills, Unrequited Love, best friend kuroo tetsurou, toxic friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:33:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29954142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clandestineyejin/pseuds/clandestineyejin
Summary: You never felt what it was like to be a priority until it was too late. Until there was nothing.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma & Reader, Kozume Kenma/Reader, Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader
Kudos: 21





	Priority

**Author's Note:**

> F/N = "Friend's name"

“Yeah, F/N asked me to stop talking to you. She just feels like I’m spending too much time with you and not her,” Kuroo admitted quietly, fidgeting with his hands. “So she asked me to stop hanging out with you.”

“As if,” you laughed. But your smile faltered as you saw the serious expression on his face. “You’re joking, right?” He barely shook his head. “Psh, well then you obviously said no,” you trailed. “Right?” He stared at his feet, staying silent. His silence was enough of an answer. “W-what?” you whispered. You wondered if you were dreaming. Never in your life did you think Kuroo would ever give you up for F/N who used to be your best friend until she started dating him. She only asked him out because you admitted to her that you started to develop feelings for Kuroo and like everything else in your life, she took that away. It took everything in you to push away those feelings if it meant Kuroo was happy. You were able to deal with your broken heart until now. When you realized she truly came first in Kuroo’s life; she was a priority. She was what you never were.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N. I just don’t want her to be angry-” 

You sighed, grinding your teeth together and clenching your fists so hard you knew you were about to draw blood. “It’s okay,” you lied. “I get it.” No you didn’t. You didn’t understand it at all. “I guess this is it.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is.” Kuroo’s words were the final blow to shattering your heart completely. How foolish of you to have hope that he wouldn’t agree with you, that he would fight for you to stay. 

“Bye, Kuroo,” was all you could get out before turning away and trying to suppress the sobs that were fighting to break loose. You felt nauseous. Kuroo felt horrible, seeing you run off knowing the two of you would never be able to have the same friendship you had before. But at least he was with F/N who made him happy. Sort of. 

You found yourself drifting off into the abyss of your demon-filled mind for the rest of the day, thinking about why you weren’t good enough and what went wrong. Kuroo had always been able to calm your rampant mind and be that comforting shoulder to lean on but without him and the meds you usually took, your demons were winning. Ever since you met Kuroo, you didn’t really need your medication anymore but now you regretted not taking them. By the end of your last class, your breathing was getting shorter and shorter and you couldn’t focus on anything. The pounding headache between your temples was too much. You wanted to rip your hair out and scream at the top of your lungs until you couldn’t anymore. But instead you waited until you could get home. 

On the way out of school, you bumped into Kenma, your other best friend who had also been with you through thick and thin. He had been by your side even when Kuroo and F/N got together. 

“Sorry. Oh, Y/N it’s you-” Kenma halted at the sight of your glassy eyes. “Woah, is everything okay?” You weakly shoved him off, telling him something was very obviously wrong. The empty look in your eyes was the same as when Kuroo told you F/N had asked him out a month ago. “It’s Kuroo, isn’t it.” Kenma wasn’t asking but rather making a statement, sighing at how obvious it was that you were in so much pain. You nodded slightly but stayed silent and kept moving. Passing by the school gates, you started to run. The sooner you got home the better. 

After a quick train ride home, you stumbled into your empty house, running up the stairs to your bathroom. Yanking the medicine cabinet open, you took out your prescribed medication as well as an Advil bottle for the headache. You popped the prescribed pill into your mouth but hesitated with the Advil bottle, leaving your hand still in the air. 

_ What if… _ you thought to yourself. Your first instinct would have been to say no and maybe it was because you were off your meds but you hesitated, bringing your eyes to look up at the mirror and see your reflection. Seeing your bloodshot eyes, you couldn’t find your mother’s happy little girl anymore. You didn’t know where she was. Maybe she died when you saw how happy Kuroo looked with F/N. Maybe it would truly be a mercy for it to all end. For the pain to stop. Moments passed as your eyesight became blurry and you started to shake from your sobbing and you poured out half the Advil bottle into your hand. With a sigh and without truly thinking of what you were doing, you swallowed the handful of pills with a wince. After a few moments, you tried setting the bottle back down on the counter but the sudden dizziness that overtook your body made you fall and miss, setting the rest of the pills to go sprawling across your bathroom floor. You leaned your head against your cool porcelain tub, relishing in the cold that helped you focus. 

_ Wait. What have I done?  _ a small voice in your head asked, horrified. Your body started to slow, not giving you the opportunity to possibly reverse what you’d done.  _ Shit. Shit. _ You mustered up enough strength to reach up for your phone and through your blurry eyesight, you scrolled through your contacts. Your finger hovered above Kuroo’s contact name but you remembered what he had said earlier. It made your heart ache more. So instead you clicked on Kenma’s name and heard his voice only after one ring. 

“Y/N? Is everything okay? You ran off earlier and I was just on my way to-”

“I’m sorry, Kenma,” you slurred. God, you were so tired. It was getting harder and harder by the minute to stay awake. “I’m really sorry. It was an accident. I swear.” 

“Y/N? What’s wrong? Y/N!” His yelling earned glares from the other train passengers but he didn’t care. “I’m coming over, just- hold on, okay?” Kenma’s heart dropped. There was no way he would lose you permanently. Not when you were the light of his life. Even if you didn’t know it.

“I didn’t- I didn’t mean for it to happen like this,” you whispered into the phone. “I-I just...just took a shit load of pills.” The ringing in your ears made it hard to hear if Kenma was saying anything else. But he could hear your labored and uneven breathing on the other line. It made his heart drop. The silent darkness was beckoning you. It seemed so sweet and inviting. But some deep part of you kept fighting. Maybe for Kenma or to prove Kuroo and F/N wrong, you didn’t know. Yet you knew time was running out and you started to cry. It was a weak cry that took more effort than you had but you held on, even if it were for just a few more minutes. 

As if on cue, a banging on your door followed by the sound of someone running into your house and up the stairs made your eyes flutter back open. The familiar sight of dyed blond hair made a slight smile ghost your lips but Kenma stood by your bathroom door speechless in horror at the sight of you curled up on the floor, barely managing to stay alive. 

“Holy shit, Y/N. Oh my God.” You could also hear the faint ring of an ambulance in the distance but you mustered up the last bit of strength you had and focused on Kenma who fell to his knees, propping your head up on them. 

“I’m really...sorry, Kenma,” you groaned. Your eyelids felt like bricks as they threatened to close. 

“It’s okay, just- stay, Y/N. Please,” he begged. “Don’t go. Stay with me, okay?” he pushed, nudging you to see if you were still alive. The slight fluttering of your eyelids told him you were fighting. 

“Kenma.” You felt yourself drifting off and couldn’t hold on any longer. “I’m sorry,” you breathed. “I love you.” You knew there was nothing you could do now. So you let go and embraced the beckoning darkness. 

“No, no, NO NO NO!” Kenma yelled. You were glad your last moments were with Kenma. His faint voice rang in your ears like a distant call. For a split second, you finally felt what it was like to be a priority; but it was too late. Then there was nothing.


End file.
